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 Stressed out

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Posts : 272
Join date : 2012-01-24
Age : 38
Location : I am not Vanhefty on Team Speak!

PostSubject: Stressed out    Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:28 pm

I take one day to hang around the new g/f and her family.

I come home, and my mom has fallen down the stairs, got a black eye, head pounding. She did a header down the stairs with a laundry basket. She's on blood thinners and such, but luckily, didn't break anything. Thank GOD for that.

My dad, well he broke a water line in the basement here, and it filled my basement, once again.........with water. So my room, is going squish. everywhere. I have clean yet again down here, for the 3rd time in 2 weeks.

And if that isn't bad enough, dad slipped on the floor and hurt himself but he's alright, I guess somehow. He turned 60 on April 14, and my mom turned 55 on April 24th.

I feel i'm getting to the point, I will have to stay around, just to make sure someone doesn't die and half thier face eaten off by my mom's pet cat, Tiger.

*eye roll*

I hate getting old. The realization that your parents have gotten to this point in thier lives that things like this can up and kick thier ass. I grew up watching them work on the dairy farm, my dad so tough, he got a cow down on its knees cause the cow kept kicking us kids and had to show it who's boss. The kind of people that were tough enough for a lot of things, it slowly in the theater of my mind, seems like the cinema is comming near its end of what I'll see.


This is my crabbiness now for a few months, my way of dealing with the fucking stupid pain that now, I'll have to do my part more, and more, where I can't do much. Maybe some of you gone through this, at some point or another...but I know how to shoot guns, dozens of ways to kill a guy, how to fix the hell out of anything, but I can't figure out how to deal with my parents aging. Sorry for this essay, but today just makes me feel guilty I ever leave the house.

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Posts : 258
Join date : 2012-06-13
Age : 56
Location : Vancouver Island

PostSubject: Re: Stressed out    Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:34 pm

Your parents lives are their own, not yours.
We can only take responsibility for our own actions, and while we have a responsibility of care for those we choose to love and care for, we also have to be humble and accept that we cannot prevent everything.
You are not required to feel guilty if someone comes to harm while you are not there. Being there would likely
have not prevented the either fall.

On some level we all understand this intellectually, but until you experience viscerally you probably won't feel it.
I have seen the truth of this in action, I feel it in my bones.

Accepting the responsibility of care for someone means you will be caring in response to their needs. But you have to keep in mind that you need to be hale and healthy to continue to care.

So, care for yourself as you would care for others, and care for others as you would have them care for you.

If your mother falls down the stairs then you care FOR her, not for the fact that you were absent when the event occurred.

Getting old is not for the weak of heart or soul. It brings rewards and challenges in equal measure. You have to face each one as it comes along and find ways to move on and adapt.

How do we deal with aging parents? The same way we deal with everything, with respect and honour.
We do what we can.
We respect who we are and what we need in ours lives.
Being with your girl friend takes priority.
Because that is where the future lies.
Your parents will, like my parents, like their parents, like their grand parents, die eventually of something.
Breath, experience the times you do have with them, respect their lives, respect your life.
It is all about understanding that this life is temporary, it is to be lived in awareness, not in regret.
Experience what life has to offer, fully, now, not yesterday.

A monk and his apprentice are walking along a country road. They have both taken a vow of celibacy. They come upon a river that they must cross. Sitting on the shore is a beautiful young lady.
"I must cross the river to return to my fathers, as he is dying."
The monk bows to the young lady and lifts her onto his shoulders and wades across the river, depositing her on the other side, he bows, and the two men continue on their way.
After a time, the young apprentice monk says, " Master, I can't understand how you could carry that woman after taking the vow."
The monk turns to him and says "I'm surprised you are still carrying her, I left her at the river"

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Posts : 297
Join date : 2012-03-27
Age : 65
Location : Calgary Alberta Canada

PostSubject: Re: Stressed out    Sun Apr 28, 2013 5:23 am

I go by this Judge. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.


Lo there do I see my father, Lo there do I see my mother, my Sisters and my brothers , Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. Lo, they do call me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever
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Join date : 2011-11-12

PostSubject: Re: Stressed out    Sun Apr 28, 2013 9:23 am

The guys are spot on judge. You have to take things as they come, and trust that it will work out in the end.

"Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are." President Theodore Roosevelt
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Age : 49
Location : Clearwater, FL

PostSubject: Re: Stressed out    Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:45 pm

rpw1 wrote:
I go by this Judge. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

BRAVO! Agree 100%
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